Stardate: -316316.17

I have a futon to sleep on now. With a comforter and a trio of colorful beanbags sitting on it during the day, it's almost like a couch.

I spent the weekend at the spring retreat for our college/career group, which has now been dubbed Connections. I suppose a lot could be said about the weekend, but I'll suffice it to say for now that there was lots of food, lots of sarcasm, lots of time to be together inside while it was raining, and lots of encouraging words and testimonies.

I bought a laptop from Dell Outlet. It should be here early next week. It's a good deal, because it's a computer that someone bought, then returned because of scratches or blemishes. I wasn't expecting to be able to buy one this soon, though I've been saving for a computer since I came back to Oregon. That changed, however, after I did my taxes and got a very good return on it because my parents claimed me as a dependent on their return. I don't know exactly how that works, but I'm certainly not complaining.

So far this week, I've had five games in three days and no rainouts. That's a welcome change, for the moment at least, from April showers in Oregon. What's even better is that my games have been uneventful, the ultimate adjective when you work as a referee. No extracurricular activity = enjoyable game.

We'll see how it goes tonight. J.C. and I invited a bunch of people from Connections to our apartment for dinner. We'll have to be creative, though, with what we'll cook, because both of us are working late afternoon/early evening. Crockpot time, most likely.

Stardate: -316294.37

I bought a bookshelf yesterday. That's a first for me -- I've never owned one before.

I'm excited about that. But what's more important is, it means I'm not a transient anymore. I have a place to call home, at least for a few months.

Now, if I set the futon up soon, I won't have to sleep on the floor. I don't mind sleeping on the floor, but I thinks it makes someone a transient when they do that.

I also went grocery shopping yesterday. Not the first time I've done that for myself, but perhaps the first time I had a kitchen and the freedom to make whatever I want.

I have a bookshelf to assemble. I'd better go.

Stardate: -316280.75

After an interesting four week experiment of living with my half-brother and his family, I have news: I'm moving again (and, don't worry, I'm not going to be staying in that little building in the picture).

The reasons are somewhat complicated, but the simplest explanation is just that it's not the best time in the life of their family to have a houseguest. Jason and I mutually agreed that it was best for both parties. On my end, this seemed to be confirmed by the other possibility that opened up: My friend J.C. inviting me to move into his apartment, where he and his brother David live.

So J.C. and I are working on confiscating a futon for me to sleep on in the living room, and I'll work on moving my stuff over this weekend.

I'm excited about this for several reasons: J.C. is a good friend, and both he and his brother should be good roommates for me. It will help them out financially by cutting the rent into thirds, and will still be a very reasonable amount for me. J.C. is in a similar place in life as I am, and both of us are planning (tentatively) to attend George Fox Evangelical Seminary in the fall. I'll have a great commute to college group, and will have a regular bike ride to my morning work, which means that I'll get to exercise regularly. I'll also be right next door to a bike path.

Perhaps best of all, I'll have a place that's as much my own as anyone else's, where I can play music, invite people over to do whatever, and not have to tiptoe around the house to keep from waking the baby up. In the meantime, I'll be able to continue my relationship with my half-brother and his family without the stress of being a houseguest.

Stardate: -316275.54

Having recently been working on my application for admission to George Fox Evangelical Seminary, I thought I would post a couple excerpts from the brief essays I had to write.

The first is in response to a question asking me to relate my spiritual pilgrimage:

God has done a lot in my life. Perhaps on the surface it might seem unremarkable how the home-schooled, shy, sheltered son of a white, middle-class, suburban, church-going family came to be applying to George Fox Evangelical Seminary. However, I don’t think it is at all. I think it is quite remarkable indeed.

One of the most significant single changes that God orchestrated in my life is that I used to be very, extremely shy. I am no longer. It has been a long, painful, and awkward process to come out of my shell and learn to relate and interact with many different kinds of people. It is also a witness to the fact that God wants me to be a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is impossible to minister without interacting with people. Probably the most freeing part of the whole process for me is realizing that I do not have to be outgoing to be obedient to God’s call on my life. I can be quiet and still communicate well; I can overcome my shyness and walk across the room to meet someone.

It is also significant that God has brought me to a place of healing in my relationship with Him. I am certain of my identity as a child, servant, and friend of God. I can relate to him as a Father. I’ve been freed from legalism and the tyranny or rules and "Christian" expectations, freed to live a live of joyful service to God. I can love people as God sees them because I know God and because He has transformed my eyes so I can see a little glimpse of how He sees the world. I can live without fear because of what God has done in me. I can take initiative and be bold, not because I have it in my personality or learned it from experience, but because God has placed it in me.

As I journey on in His service, I find that I have a vision. I have a vision of what the Church could look like – unified, loving, accepting. I have a vision of followers of Christ crossing barriers not just for pagans to hear the gospel but also to be in fellowship with each other. I have a vision for holy people who immerse themselves in culture, without letting it define who they are. Of them colliding with the unholy, the sacred saying hello to the secular, and not only standing true in the face of it, but also bearing witness that "they" may not be as far from Christ as we have led them to believe. I have a vision for Christians agreeing together about the essentials and laying aside the non-essentials; and emphasizing the questions more than pat answers. I have a vision, to communicate the truth of Jesus Christ and His gospel in as many mediums and means as people have interests, hobbies, and life experiences.

In short, God has done a lot in my life; but in the big picture, I want it to be just a small portion of what He will do. Once ordinary, but I’m not anymore, and I’m getting more unordinary every day.

Stardate: -316275.53

(Read after above post)

The second is in response to the question, Why are you seeking graduate theological education?

I love to study the Bible and theology. There are only a few things that I am truly passionate about, and that is at the top of the list. I think that reason is enough, in itself, for me to attend seminary. But also, I would like to have a job, ministry or otherwise, that allows me to interact and connect with people. I want to be involved (even be a leader) with people who don’t go to church, don’t have a pastor, are rejected by others or don’t have a positive Christian influence. In short, I want to live with people and be with people who I can invest in, have a pastoral role in their lives, and work at a job that I enjoy doing. I want to be in full-time ministry in the real world – I don’t want to be confined to the four walls of a ‘church’. I want to exercise my gifts (prophecy, teaching, serving, and showing mercy) through relationships. I want to be someone who people can come to if they are seeking answers and guidance. I want to help create group settings where everyone is accepted and can be themselves. I want to write, train people to study the Bible, and have an influence in the lives of many different people.

I see going to seminary as not the only way, but a very good way of moving toward these life goals. Some people who attend seminary are either already in vocational ministry, or clearly headed that direction. I don’t have a clear career path, and I may or may not end up in vocational ministry. But I do know that I want to prepare myself for being in Christian service, to be a person who God sees as very valuable for the Church and for His people, not just because of my willingness, but because of my training and abilities.

I also look forward to being in an academic environment again. An environment of learning can do a great deal to challenge me to love God and learn more about Him, about His Word, and about how to minister to people. Unlike the Pentecostal denomination Bible College I attended for my undergrad, I anticipate being in a place that is truly multi-denominational, where ‘traditional’ beliefs of all kinds are challenged and examined, and a place where there are many other people who have spiritual strengths that I have not been in contact with much before.

Lastly, and perhaps in some ways most importantly, I see going to seminary as an issue of stewardship. I have been charged by God to make the most of everything I have been given during my stay on earth – money, time, possessions, relationships. My mind is one of my most valuable assets, and one of God’s greatest gifts to me. I must use it. I take God’s command to love Him with my mind very seriously and gravely, Whether it is learning about the Bible, theology, postmodern culture, ministry, or people; or learning better how to communicate truth; or developing my ability to write, research, synthesize, analyze, and apply, I see Seminary as a unique opportunity to further loving God with my mind.

Stardate: -316258.93

Someone once said that you can tell the character of a person by how he (or she) acts when no one else is watching.

I think it's also true that how someone uses their free time tells a lot about what they're actually passionate about. Often, it can be unrelated to what that person does for a living.

One of my personal convictions about work is that anything I get paid to do, I would be willing to volunteer to do, at least for some period of time. (I admit that even the most enjoyable jobs I've had, I probably wouldn't have kept doing them if I hadn't got paid.) I guess that's a little bit of a safety net for me, because if I don't enjoy my work, my day drags by. I want to enjoy life, and not just my free time; I also want my work to mirror my personal interests and abilities in some way.

Recently, I decided that right now, it is more important for me to prepare for (and be involved in) what I believe God wants me to do with my life, than just to focus on making, spending, and saving money. That's probably something that I can get away with more now, because I'm single and in a good place financially, but I hope that commitment carries over to every situation of my life. I also hope that helps keep my priorities straight when considering whether to look for, and accept, jobs of any kind.

The thought that lurks in the back of my mind is this: When I get to heaven, God's not going to ask me about money, how much I made or spent, or about my job, status, or possessions. He's going to question me on another thread entirely. Until I have an idea what that thread is, there's no chance of my priorities lining up with His.

Stardate: -316253.43

Last night was arguably the most important, highest stakes basketball game of the year. And did I watch it? No. I was playing bridge. Maybe I have my priorities straight. Or maybe Monday night is just the wrong night of the week to have the NCAA championship basketball game on. I've missed a lot of those games over the years because of that.

But perhaps this year it didn't matter. Because on Saturday evening, when the semifinals were happening, I didn't watch those games either. I was eating spicy chili and watching It's a Wonderful Life (that's right, in March) with several people from college group.

Perhaps the most important thing in life isn't what we do as much as whether we did it with people. And whether we enjoyed those people, and loved them, and were willing to sacrifice things like big important basketball games for them. It's a rough (wonderful) life.