antiquus postremo

Stardate: -315006.82

2008-01-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

As another semester approaches, I find myself in a transitional phase of my life, but at the same time feeling like nothing extremely dramatic is happening:

My relationship with Bethany is going well, nearing engagement and the time to start planning a wedding. All considered, we're in a very good place in our relationship, perhaps one that I didn't expect to get to this soon.
I had to switch to taking classes on Mondays this semester in order to get two classes that actually go towards my degree. This means that I'm taking a year off Greek -- not ideal, but a necessary detour at this point. I don't have anyone to carpool with yet this semester. I'm taking Christian History and Theology II and New Testament II, and a one unit spiritual formation intensive class called Spirituality, Shame and Grace.
Basketball season is in full swing, except for the two weeks off that just happened over Christmas. I usually do four or five high school freshman or JV games a week. I haven't been doing much middle school this year, probably because of an influx of rookie officials.

In the last three months I have:

Aced a Greek final exam and written a research paper on The Problem of Institutionalization in the Christian Church.
Followed the Blazers closely during their bleak and harsh month of November and their 13-game win streak in December. Ironically, I watched very little of those 13 games on TV.
Gone on my first dress-up-romantic-evening-out kind of date.
Got a flat tire on my bike on my way to morning work and had to walk four miles home.

Stardate: -315006.73

2008-01-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

It's time to break the silence. Interestingly, three months without posting to this blog (I did post to my as-yet-undistributed Blazers blog back in October) is not specifically a reflection of a lack of time. Seminary has happened, yes. I had about five weeks of near-constant homework at the end of the semester, yes (partially from procrastination). It can be hard at times to want to blog when I have to write for homework, yes. But lack of time? No.

It may be more of an illustration of the fact that for things that don't come naturally for us, it takes priority, and planning, to do them over and above other things. I'm not the kind of blogger (at least, not yet) who comes home at 10 pm and naturally gravitates to writing a blog entry. My best writing is done in the morning, actually, or in the middle of the day. And as yet, I haven't made blogging a part of my routine during that time of the day. Will that change? Perhaps. I certainly would like to procrastinate less in other areas of my life (read: homework), and maybe it will carry over to this area as well.

Stardate: -316732.9

2007-09-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

I started graduate school three weeks ago. The reshuffling of my schedule since then, coupled with the fact that Bethany started working full-time at about the same time, makes it clear in retrospect that blogging got lost in the process.

I've said it before that even all the best intentions can't necessarily get me to blog regularly. And because I believe that blogging, for me, is about more than freedom of expression, or the ability to communicate with people who care about me, I'm going to make blogging a priority. This is being encouraged by one of my spiritual formation classes, Spiritual Life, in which we talk about spiritual disciplines and are strongly pushed to take up at least one regular discipline for the duration of the semester.

Now before you wonder in your mind how blogging ever came to be considered a spiritual discipline, let me explain. Our professor described how there are different traditions of spirituality (or Christianity, if you will). One of these traditions, and the one that I am focusing on this semester, is the incarnational tradition. In this tradition, spirituality is discovered through the everydayness of life. That means that any activity that can be God-centered is fair game. Writing, artistic expression, experiencing nature, music, short little prayers that you say throughout the day, time with family and friends, or anything else you can think of.

So what is blogging about for me? Blogging is not only me conversing with God casually. It is developing my mind, my ability to communicate my thoughts, and ultimately, using a gift that God has given me. It's about more than what some would call philosophy. It's about the idea that even if no one else is ever affected by my writing, I write and I am changed. Through writing, all of my thoughts that would otherwise be simmering under the surface, are let out so I can use them. Blogging is a huge technological opportunity, because it means that even if I never get a book, essay, or article published, I still have an outlet, a means of communicating my thoughts. If other people benefit at all from what I write, that's wonderful also.

One note: Most of the aforementioned posts to come will probably be found on my profundus sententia (profound thoughts) blog. See the link in the left sidebar if you don't have it already.

Stardate: -316640.71

2007-08-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

I guess it's easy to figure out that I like black and white photography when I post a black and white picture of Crater Lake, easily one of the bluest lakes in the world, especially on a day like this one.

Bethany and I went camping there with Vjera and Eddie a couple weekends ago. We camped on Diamond Lake, which in its own right is a very good lake, then spent the next day driving most of the way around the rim of the more famous one. We had a good time, definitely helped by the fact that both Bethany and I like taking pictures. There's not a whole lot to do at Crater Lake except look at it and marvel at its blueness.

Bethany and I also spent a day at the Oregon Coast visiting my friend Krysten from Life. She was staying with her grandparents in Waldport. We spent hours talking to her, telling her the story of our friendship, and took a walk on a foggy beach. What fog lacks in beauty, it gains in surreality.

I went to orientation at George Fox Evangelical Seminary last week, which was a mostly boring two hours interrupted by a hilarious librarian and punctuated with heartfelt, brief addresses by a good portion of the faculty. Everyone seems very intent to challenge us spiritually and emotionally and not just academically, which is refreshing at an institution of higher education.

I have registered for seven credits, and might add another class if I can fit it into my schedule. I don't know if carpooling is going to work out as well as I had hoped, but in any event, one day a week is very manageable, especially when my car gets good gas mileage.

Stardate: -316596.01

2007-08-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

Having recently found out that I will probably have no games during the month of August, the most recent question imperative for me to answer is, what exactly am I going to do with my free time?

On the one hand, though I have had a couple brief stints of temporary work during the last three months, I'm not exactly excited to do more right now. Perhaps that is because of the reality of starting at seminary in just over four weeks, and the accompanying shift of focus that means. Also, I don't want to look for a new job, though there are certainly advantages to having something more consistent than I do right now. I'm going to be full-time at seminary, and that means I won't be full-time at work.

What remains is to make use of the time in other ways. I read a lot, more than I have at any point since I came back to Oregon. It's no secret that I spend a lot of time with Bethany. However, the new thing that I want to jump start is writing. If it is a gift that I possess, I need to start developing it; and there's no reason to wait for seminary to do that for me. Blogging is good, and I hope to post more than I have recently. But I have a suspicion that blogging is just the tip of the iceberg for me.

It's highly unlikely that all of the things I write about will end up in blog posts. But rest assured, those of you who are faithful readers have a front row seat, so keep your eye on profundus sententia (link is on the sidebar).

Stardate: -316564.02

2007-07-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

I have been back in Oregon for nearly a year. In the back of my mind, I knew that it was a possibility that in a short time God could bring someone into my life and that I would, sooner rather than later, be pursuing a relationship with her.

It's one thing to admit (for the first time in my life, perhaps) that such an occurrence is a possibility. It's another for it to actually happen...and it has, actually, happened.

It may be comical, or entertaining, to some of you who read this blog how the sequence of events has unfolded. Indeed, my favorite way to announce it to people is that Bethany and I are out of denial. To which, several people have responded, "What are you guys in, then?"

The most accurate answer is that we don't know. To say we are dating is not appealing to us. Courtship is probably the best term, though even it is somewhat antiquated, and to the extent that it is used in this age, can also imply a relationship or process that is not a true description of our journey.

Rest assured, though, that Bethany and I are not being evasive by refusing to prematurely label our involvement with each other. We are very serious about the process that we have begun. We don't know how long it will take, or where it will take us. Our goal is to deepen our relationship while carefully, prayerfully, and thoroughly considering whether we want to continue into marriage.

And ultimately, this process is to see whether God smiles on us and encourages us to continue on. I invite you to be a part of that process with us. Courtship, for us, is not about isolating ourselves, but about making an informed, wise decision while we look to our family and friends to help us, and to see whether God would be glorified in our unique friendship heading in a new direction.

Stardate: -316472.53

2007-06-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

June is such a beautiful month in Oregon. I love the long hours of daylight, the mild heat during the day, and how the temperature drops when the sun goes down. I love the lack of humidity compared to where I was at this time last year (see Link below).

I love that I don't have to worry about hurricane warnings. I love the way the Willamette river can look blue and green at the same time. I love how when the sun comes up in the morning, I forget about the darkness of night and whatever happened the day before. I love how the sun reflects off the dew on everything green, and makes the world look like a new place.

I love that I get to work outside. That I have the luxury of biking. That I don't depend on an AC unit to keep me cool.

I love how it all speaks of God's stance toward the world. How He's unfazed by what appears to be going dreadfully wrong. Of how His mercies are new every morning, just like the sunrise. Of how it seems to me that He's walking around in His creation, not confined to some divine office cubicle or government building.

In fact, I think if we were to look for Him, we would find Him not in the places we most associate with Him, but in places like the sunrise.

Stardate: -316464.8

2007-06-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

I won't say a whole lot in this post. I apologize to my faithful readers that it has been so long. Most of you know something about the extenuating circumstances of my life, one of the lesser effects of which was limited internet access during the last couple silent weeks.

However, I will say that:

I have worked many games the last two weeks, in addition to about 20 hours a week for Lockwood Research, the company that my roommate J.C. has been an independent contractor for.

I attended a group interview at George Fox Evangelical Seminary, which was quickly followed by a letter of acceptance into the program that I applied for, M.A. in Theological Studies. Class starts the first week of September, and I'll be commuting (hopefully carpooling with other students) one day a week. I also learned from my parents that they have money set aside for my schooling which will probably add up to about half of my tuition cost for the entire degree.

I'm having the brakes on my car repaired today, so I'm going to walk down to Les Schwab in a few minutes to pick it up.

I'm thinking about blogging several times a week now to help with regularity in posting. Perhaps I'll just blog on certain days. In any event, expect more posts to come.

Stardate: -316417.97

2007-06-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

All my good intentions to blog, and still it has been two weeks. I guess that goes to show you, good intentions don't necessarily get you anywhere in life. (See link below.)

At any rate, I did have a very busy week in there, helping my uncle fix up my late Grandma's second house, which we have been trying to make market-ready so we can sell it. My contribution was primarily painting, and many hours of it. I tolerate painting more than most types of work that I would classify manual labor, but still don't enjoy it very much. Nevertheless, it's good to make some money during the two-week break after baseball season.

Deja vu yesterday: drove to Harrisburg for a game that didn't happen because there were no teams there. Annoying, but did get paid for virtually nothing.

I also went to Portland last weekend with my friend Bethany, to visit my friend Jenae who just graduated from Life and moved back to Oregon. Certainly a unique individual. We walked around downtown Portland, hiked in a forest, and saw the Gravitram at OMSI (easily one of my most favorite things ever). The weekend before that, I invited Amanda to come for Bethany's first look at the Oregon Coast, which was an experience that Bethany won't soon forget.

Now I have to get ready for work...my first training with Lockwood, the research company that J.C. is an independent contractor for. They'd like to fit me into the schedule, at least for the next couple weeks.

Until the next time I overcome my procrastination...

Stardate: -316373.7

2007-05-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of my new car. It's a 1994 Mazda Protege. I like it a lot. And here's another picture.

Last, but certainly not least, is a picture of my new laptop, a Dell Inspiron E1405:

Stardate: -316371.64

2007-05-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

I have no games this week. Summer ball starts after the state high school playoffs, hopefully by the first week of June at least. I drove to Harrisburg on Monday with another umpire, only to find out that there was no game. At least I get paid for driving out there. Kind of an inauspicious way to end my first high school season.

I biked to Springfield yesterday and had lunch with Vjera. It was interesting to me to see the wide variety of people that I rode by on the bike path: Homeless people still all bundled up as if it were 40 degrees; random people strumming guitars; business people taking walks during their lunch hour and chatting avidly; and every once in a long while, a hardcore biker in spandex breezing past me, not an easy feat considering that I don't exactly meander myself.

Speaking of which, I need to go to Springfield again for the umpire meeting tonight, so I'll have another opportunity to do ride-by people-watching.

Stardate: -316358.64

2007-05-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

I can't upload a picture to this post right now. I don't know if the problem is with Blogger or our internet connection. It's frustrating to have such a fast computer and such slow internet. We're trying to upgrade our internet, but it hasn't seemed to have had any effect yet. What it is a beautiful thing, though, is when I look at the battery meter when my laptop is disconnected and it says there is 4 hours and 58 minutes remaining, and that is only 73% of the battery power. I'm quite glad I have a nine-cell battery.

Earlier this week I was at a parking lot in Eugene and I saw a car that had a lot of bumper stickers on it. So, being the nerd that I am, I pretended to talk on my cell phone while I intentionally wandered (is that an oxymoron?) around said car and counted all of the bumper stickers. 155. That's a lot. My favorite, easily, was the one on the front of the car that said, "I HATE bumper stickers."

Yeah, right. I don't believe it.

Another week, more people over to our apartment. This week it was girls on Tuesday and Wednesday night. J.C. barbecued on Wednesday night, and nearly died in a dramatic explosion (or so he tells me). Then tonight, I invited my parents and younger brothers over to have dinner with me. My sisters were both busy. I guess, in a small way at least, it was a coming of age for me as an adult, to have my own apartment and to invite my parents over for dinner and cook for them. I'll never repay them for all the meals they cooked for me, or the countless other things they gave me, but at least they know I love them in return and that I made it to adulthood.

Stardate: -316339.07

2007-05-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today I was attempting to unlock the door to my apartment for the first time with my new key and the key got stuck in the lock. I called management, went to do a game, and when I came back, there was a new doorknob.

Then I was taking a shower and the water wasn't draining. My roommate, David, went in to check it out, and informed me that you have to hold the handle at just the right place.

I guess this is why we pay $100 a month less than we would if we were at a different apartment complex.

Stardate: -316335.37

2007-05-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

A week later, and my laptop is here. Maybe I'll post a picture of it sometime, after I have my Canon photo software installed on here.

It's interesting, and perhaps quite remarkable, that this is the first computer I have owned. I made it through five years of college without one, just using the computers in the library and those at other common places on campus.

There's hope on my part that having a computer will result in more blogging. Perhaps also more writing in general, more keeping in touch with people via e-mail, and maybe I'll even join a social networking website (probably a good bet that the first one won't be MySpace).

I remember that about a year ago, I was reflecting with one of my friends that it was interesting that I was at the end of my five years of college and I did not have a car, a cell phone, or a laptop. (Actually, I didn't have a bicycle or a digital camera either.) Now, here I am, and I have all of them. Do I feel different? Not really. But I have a growing conviction that with every thing that I own, I have a new opportunity to honor God and impact the world.

So, maybe I am different than I was a year ago. Maybe a lot.

Stardate: -316329.85

2007-05-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

One of the things that J.C. and I have talked about as roommates is inviting people over to our apartment, for dinner or the like. We'd like to do it an average of at least once per week.

Our first experience with this was last Thursday. We invited nine people, most of whom came because we planned it while we were at college retreat. J.C. and I were both gone for several hours before dinnertime, so earlier in the day I had chopped chicken and vegetables and threw them in the crockpot. I also set the rice cooker on delayed timer.

In retrospect, the evening was a success. But when I reflect on why, I can't pinpoint it on the food or the odd and sarcastic conversation, though both were very enjoyable. Maybe it's because there's something about connecting with other people our age, people who in a some way are in a similar place in life as we are, and finding a sense of camaraderie with them.

So, thank God for crockpots and rice cookers. But even more, thank God for friends who make life less lonely.

Stardate: -316316.17

2007-04-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

I have a futon to sleep on now. With a comforter and a trio of colorful beanbags sitting on it during the day, it's almost like a couch.

I spent the weekend at the spring retreat for our college/career group, which has now been dubbed Connections. I suppose a lot could be said about the weekend, but I'll suffice it to say for now that there was lots of food, lots of sarcasm, lots of time to be together inside while it was raining, and lots of encouraging words and testimonies.

I bought a laptop from Dell Outlet. It should be here early next week. It's a good deal, because it's a computer that someone bought, then returned because of scratches or blemishes. I wasn't expecting to be able to buy one this soon, though I've been saving for a computer since I came back to Oregon. That changed, however, after I did my taxes and got a very good return on it because my parents claimed me as a dependent on their return. I don't know exactly how that works, but I'm certainly not complaining.

So far this week, I've had five games in three days and no rainouts. That's a welcome change, for the moment at least, from April showers in Oregon. What's even better is that my games have been uneventful, the ultimate adjective when you work as a referee. No extracurricular activity = enjoyable game.

We'll see how it goes tonight. J.C. and I invited a bunch of people from Connections to our apartment for dinner. We'll have to be creative, though, with what we'll cook, because both of us are working late afternoon/early evening. Crockpot time, most likely.

Stardate: -316294.37

2007-04-18T10:28:00.000-07:00

I bought a bookshelf yesterday. That's a first for me -- I've never owned one before.

I'm excited about that. But what's more important is, it means I'm not a transient anymore. I have a place to call home, at least for a few months.

Now, if I set the futon up soon, I won't have to sleep on the floor. I don't mind sleeping on the floor, but I thinks it makes someone a transient when they do that.

I also went grocery shopping yesterday. Not the first time I've done that for myself, but perhaps the first time I had a kitchen and the freedom to make whatever I want.

I have a bookshelf to assemble. I'd better go.

Stardate: -316280.75

2007-04-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

After an interesting four week experiment of living with my half-brother and his family, I have news: I'm moving again (and, don't worry, I'm not going to be staying in that little building in the picture).

The reasons are somewhat complicated, but the simplest explanation is just that it's not the best time in the life of their family to have a houseguest. Jason and I mutually agreed that it was best for both parties. On my end, this seemed to be confirmed by the other possibility that opened up: My friend J.C. inviting me to move into his apartment, where he and his brother David live.

So J.C. and I are working on confiscating a futon for me to sleep on in the living room, and I'll work on moving my stuff over this weekend.

I'm excited about this for several reasons: J.C. is a good friend, and both he and his brother should be good roommates for me. It will help them out financially by cutting the rent into thirds, and will still be a very reasonable amount for me. J.C. is in a similar place in life as I am, and both of us are planning (tentatively) to attend George Fox Evangelical Seminary in the fall. I'll have a great commute to college group, and will have a regular bike ride to my morning work, which means that I'll get to exercise regularly. I'll also be right next door to a bike path.

Perhaps best of all, I'll have a place that's as much my own as anyone else's, where I can play music, invite people over to do whatever, and not have to tiptoe around the house to keep from waking the baby up. In the meantime, I'll be able to continue my relationship with my half-brother and his family without the stress of being a houseguest.

Stardate: -316275.54

2007-04-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Having recently been working on my application for admission to George Fox Evangelical Seminary, I thought I would post a couple excerpts from the brief essays I had to write.

The first is in response to a question asking me to relate my spiritual pilgrimage:

God has done a lot in my life. Perhaps on the surface it might seem unremarkable how the home-schooled, shy, sheltered son of a white, middle-class, suburban, church-going family came to be applying to George Fox Evangelical Seminary. However, I don’t think it is at all. I think it is quite remarkable indeed.

One of the most significant single changes that God orchestrated in my life is that I used to be very, extremely shy. I am no longer. It has been a long, painful, and awkward process to come out of my shell and learn to relate and interact with many different kinds of people. It is also a witness to the fact that God wants me to be a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is impossible to minister without interacting with people. Probably the most freeing part of the whole process for me is realizing that I do not have to be outgoing to be obedient to God’s call on my life. I can be quiet and still communicate well; I can overcome my shyness and walk across the room to meet someone.

It is also significant that God has brought me to a place of healing in my relationship with Him. I am certain of my identity as a child, servant, and friend of God. I can relate to him as a Father. I’ve been freed from legalism and the tyranny or rules and "Christian" expectations, freed to live a live of joyful service to God. I can love people as God sees them because I know God and because He has transformed my eyes so I can see a little glimpse of how He sees the world. I can live without fear because of what God has done in me. I can take initiative and be bold, not because I have it in my personality or learned it from experience, but because God has placed it in me.

As I journey on in His service, I find that I have a vision. I have a vision of what the Church could look like – unified, loving, accepting. I have a vision of followers of Christ crossing barriers not just for pagans to hear the gospel but also to be in fellowship with each other. I have a vision for holy people who immerse themselves in culture, without letting it define who they are. Of them colliding with the unholy, the sacred saying hello to the secular, and not only standing true in the face of it, but also bearing witness that "they" may not be as far from Christ as we have led them to believe. I have a vision for Christians agreeing together about the essentials and laying aside the non-essentials; and emphasizing the questions more than pat answers. I have a vision, to communicate the truth of Jesus Christ and His gospel in as many mediums and means as people have interests, hobbies, and life experiences.

In short, God has done a lot in my life; but in the big picture, I want it to be just a small portion of what He will do. Once ordinary, but I’m not anymore, and I’m getting more unordinary every day.

Stardate: -316275.53

2007-04-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

(Read after above post)

The second is in response to the question, Why are you seeking graduate theological education?

I love to study the Bible and theology. There are only a few things that I am truly passionate about, and that is at the top of the list. I think that reason is enough, in itself, for me to attend seminary. But also, I would like to have a job, ministry or otherwise, that allows me to interact and connect with people. I want to be involved (even be a leader) with people who don’t go to church, don’t have a pastor, are rejected by others or don’t have a positive Christian influence. In short, I want to live with people and be with people who I can invest in, have a pastoral role in their lives, and work at a job that I enjoy doing. I want to be in full-time ministry in the real world – I don’t want to be confined to the four walls of a ‘church’. I want to exercise my gifts (prophecy, teaching, serving, and showing mercy) through relationships. I want to be someone who people can come to if they are seeking answers and guidance. I want to help create group settings where everyone is accepted and can be themselves. I want to write, train people to study the Bible, and have an influence in the lives of many different people.

I see going to seminary as not the only way, but a very good way of moving toward these life goals. Some people who attend seminary are either already in vocational ministry, or clearly headed that direction. I don’t have a clear career path, and I may or may not end up in vocational ministry. But I do know that I want to prepare myself for being in Christian service, to be a person who God sees as very valuable for the Church and for His people, not just because of my willingness, but because of my training and abilities.

I also look forward to being in an academic environment again. An environment of learning can do a great deal to challenge me to love God and learn more about Him, about His Word, and about how to minister to people. Unlike the Pentecostal denomination Bible College I attended for my undergrad, I anticipate being in a place that is truly multi-denominational, where ‘traditional’ beliefs of all kinds are challenged and examined, and a place where there are many other people who have spiritual strengths that I have not been in contact with much before.

Lastly, and perhaps in some ways most importantly, I see going to seminary as an issue of stewardship. I have been charged by God to make the most of everything I have been given during my stay on earth – money, time, possessions, relationships. My mind is one of my most valuable assets, and one of God’s greatest gifts to me. I must use it. I take God’s command to love Him with my mind very seriously and gravely, Whether it is learning about the Bible, theology, postmodern culture, ministry, or people; or learning better how to communicate truth; or developing my ability to write, research, synthesize, analyze, and apply, I see Seminary as a unique opportunity to further loving God with my mind.

Stardate: -316258.93

2007-04-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

Someone once said that you can tell the character of a person by how he (or she) acts when no one else is watching.

I think it's also true that how someone uses their free time tells a lot about what they're actually passionate about. Often, it can be unrelated to what that person does for a living.

One of my personal convictions about work is that anything I get paid to do, I would be willing to volunteer to do, at least for some period of time. (I admit that even the most enjoyable jobs I've had, I probably wouldn't have kept doing them if I hadn't got paid.) I guess that's a little bit of a safety net for me, because if I don't enjoy my work, my day drags by. I want to enjoy life, and not just my free time; I also want my work to mirror my personal interests and abilities in some way.

Recently, I decided that right now, it is more important for me to prepare for (and be involved in) what I believe God wants me to do with my life, than just to focus on making, spending, and saving money. That's probably something that I can get away with more now, because I'm single and in a good place financially, but I hope that commitment carries over to every situation of my life. I also hope that helps keep my priorities straight when considering whether to look for, and accept, jobs of any kind.

The thought that lurks in the back of my mind is this: When I get to heaven, God's not going to ask me about money, how much I made or spent, or about my job, status, or possessions. He's going to question me on another thread entirely. Until I have an idea what that thread is, there's no chance of my priorities lining up with His.

Stardate: -316253.43

2007-04-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

Last night was arguably the most important, highest stakes basketball game of the year. And did I watch it? No. I was playing bridge. Maybe I have my priorities straight. Or maybe Monday night is just the wrong night of the week to have the NCAA championship basketball game on. I've missed a lot of those games over the years because of that.

But perhaps this year it didn't matter. Because on Saturday evening, when the semifinals were happening, I didn't watch those games either. I was eating spicy chili and watching It's a Wonderful Life (that's right, in March) with several people from college group.

Perhaps the most important thing in life isn't what we do as much as whether we did it with people. And whether we enjoyed those people, and loved them, and were willing to sacrifice things like big important basketball games for them. It's a rough (wonderful) life.

Stardate: -316232.2

2007-03-26T18:04:00.000-07:00

Another week goes by, and somehow without blogging. All my good intentions to blog more often somehow don't amount to much except keeping up with the one-a-week pattern.

What happens in the meantime? My life is more interesting than I let on in my blog entries, I think. Certainly it has its highlights -- umpiring, refereeing, moving and job change. But the real substance of interest in my life has to do with friends and relatively mundane events. With reconnecting with my half-brother Jason. With holding his son, my six-month-old nephew. With hanging out with Bethany and J.C. and Vjera & Eddie, with meeting new people and becoming a regular at college/career group. With singing on the worship team. With knowing people who understand (and even occasionally appreciate) my sarcasm.

Perhaps most of all, being at a place in my life where I can dream, and move, and learn, and pursue God in ways I haven't before. Life should be dynamic and challenging, and in some ways, for the first time in my life, it actually is.

Stardate: -316212.85

2007-03-19T16:12:00.000-07:00

I had to do a second baseball game behind the plate last Thursday, which made my legs even more sore this weekend. Today my game was rained out and rescheduled for tomorrow, probably optimism on their part that the weather will be better tomorrow.

On Friday/Saturday I moved out of my parents' house and officially into my half-brother Jason's house, where he and his wife and their six-month-old son live. I'm staying in the guest room. I'll be paying them rent and hopefully get to know them better.

Having officially quit Alvord-Taylor as of just over a week ago, I'm wondering how hard I want to try to find another part-time job to do. I have a fairly consistent gap in my schedule from about 8 AM - 3 PM on weekdays, though I don't want any job that conflicts with late afternoons, evenings, or weekends. I'm also picky about what type of work that I do. This time, preferably something that is a new experience of sorts; something unboring, challenging, and perhaps including interaction with people to some degree.

Stardate: -316199.86

2007-03-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

After a couple middle school basketball games the past two days, which were easy, I had a baptism by fire today during my first baseball game. I got thrust behind the plate.

Pretty challenging for a new umpire, and a lot of pressure knowing that I'm the only one who can call balls and strikes. I think I did pretty well on that and stayed consistent throughout the game. However, I did have a couple close plays at home, one of which I think I botched, and another that I got right but probably called too quickly.

They were a lot of runs -- 20 combined? 25? Hard to say, since umpires don't keep track of the score. Two and a half hours. My legs are sore after going down into a plate stance and back up all game.

More than just the basics though, today was about more than that. It was an initiation into a culture that I've never been involved with firsthand before. I didn't get the opportunity to play organized baseball. It's a sport that is still old fashioned, devoid of technology, no whistles for the officials, and played out in an open field.

As much as I love basketball, I can see how baseball can be addictive in its own way. I'm glad I have this opportunity.

Stardate: -316183.03

2007-03-08T18:48:00.000-08:00

My friend J.C. and I took a trip to Portland on Monday to visit George Fox Evangelical Seminary. Now, I knew from looking at the website that GFES is no ordinary seminary. But I wasn't quite expecting what I found.

I found a place that is truly multi-denominational, where it is an everyday occurrence for a Lutheran, a Presbyterian, a Pentecostal, a Methodist, and someone who claims no denomination at all to agree to learn and dialogue together while preparing for ministry to people both in the pews and on the margins. I found a place where academics and practical ministry collide, where all students are challenged to examine what they believe, center on Jesus, and truly follow Him. I found a place that emphasizes both spiritual formation and biblical knowledge. A place where the older learns from the younger and the younger values the older and vice versa. A place where the professors engage in discussions with the students rather than just lecturing all the time, a place where the pastor challenges the skeptic and the skeptic encourages the pastor. I found a place where people work to learn with their minds, and learn to love from their hearts. I found a place where the dean is a church planter, and the faculty have some pastoral ministry experience. A place where both the traditional and the progressive come face to face and don't condemn each other, but realize that both are needed and valuable. A place that fully supports the movement of the emerging church in its quest to relate to an increasingly postmodern world, yet critiques the very theology that is its basis. I found a place that provides flexible schedules and course options to serve the individual student, yet ensures that no student will be isolated or unknown, rather connected with the whole body of the school in some way.

In short, I found a place that matches my vision for the church, will challenge me to continue learning and applying God's word and love for people, and encourage me to walk fully in who God has called me to be.

I found a place that I hope to start attending in some capacity in the fall.

Stardate: -316175.17

2007-03-05T22:30:00.000-08:00

Another busy weekend, and some notable highlights emerged:

Spending three hours in the gym at Thurston High practicing umpire mechanics, calls, and footwork with a mix of veteran and rookie umpires
Finishing said umpire clinic with them using me as a guinea pig to show that 90% of the game umpires itself (they had me turn my back and make out/safe calls by sound only, and I got 9 of 10 right)
Riding my bike across town to do a Kidsports basketball game during an absolutely gorgeous Saturday afternoon
Arriving at said Kidsports game only to find out that there were already two referees there, both insisting that they were scheduled, so I left and took advantage of the situation to take photos of the sunset
Going on a walk on Sunday afternoon with Vjera & Eddie, and Bethany on Amazon bike path
Again joining the regularly scheduled program at Christ Fellowship's College/Career Group, after missing multiple Sunday nights due to basketball referee meetings
Feeling very at home at said CCG meeting, with a group of young adults who are nearly as sarcastic as I am (and loving the Lord doesn't hurt either)

Hope you're enjoying the weather and whatever free time you have as much as I am...

Stardate: -316157.85

2007-02-27T14:51:00.000-08:00

Well, it's a dead week and I have three, maybe four, things I have to do this week: One, or maybe three, basketball games, an umpire meeting, and an umpire clinic.

So what am I doing with my time, you ask? That's a good question:

Brainstorming about a new third part-time job to do in place of Alvord-Taylor (it's only a matter of timing as to when I quit)
Reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
Having lunch with Vjera, dinner with my family, hanging out with J.C. and Bethany later this week
Taking walks in the rain for fun
Avoiding riding my bike in the rain (I enjoy biking, but it becomes considerably less enjoyable when it's wet)
Blogging at least twice (hopefully) and catching up on e-mails
Finding/buying umpire equipment

Maybe it's a good thing I don't work very much at the moment...

Stardate: -316143.5

2007-02-22T09:07:00.000-08:00

Now begins the dead period (of sorts) between basketball season and baseball season. About three weeks long, the relative lack of work I will have might have bothered me before. But recently, upon concluding that my goal in life is not to earn as much money as I can, and having been liberated from the related values of American workaholism (see the Link below to read my thoughts on the American Dream), I'm okay with having more free time.

In the meantime, I've started reading more actively, knowing the reading has the capacity to challenge me in a way that few other things can. On a slightly more humorous note, my favorite thing about baseball umpire training so far is the opportunity to make ninja noises when we call strikes (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit). At any rate, I like that my life is interesting, and I'm endeavoring to make it even more so.

Stardate: -316127.26

2007-02-16T22:39:00.000-08:00

It's late and I need to go to bed, but I thought I might give a few snapshots of things I did this week, in no particular order:

Pedaled madly to make it to my game at South Eugene High after running (riding?) an errand elsewhere in Eugene
Rethought certain beliefs I have between chapters of the book I'm reading while sitting on my family's living room couch
Sang "Oh Where is My Hairbrush" to my little nephew Josiah while holding him in my arms
Watched Eddie and Vjera open their massive pile of wedding presents
Soundly beat my friend Bethany in Gin Rummy
Left a phone message for a friend while riding the EmX rapid transit bus from Springfield to Eugene
Blew my whistle 1,149 times in basketball games (actually, I didn't count, but that number is a rough estimate)
Balanced my checking account and did my budget for the next month
Woke up to the same song by Rebecca St. James three times: "If I had one chance to tell you something, it's that you are loved, more than you can ever know."

Sounds like a good week to me...

Stardate: -316113.98

2007-02-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, at the wedding of my sister Vjera to Eddie Thompson, I had the distinct sense that God had brought them together, which was perhaps the best thing about what was overall a most wonderful wedding. I sort of knew a year ago, shortly after I first met Eddie, that there was no way that she would find anyone better for her as a spouse and companion than he is. My interaction with them over the past six months since I have moved back to Oregon has confirmed that, and I've also been quite pleased with how natural, fun, and serious their relationship is, as well as how inclusive they are toward friends and family.

As I reflected on the simple and (mostly) traditional ceremony held at Eugene Faith Center late yesterday morning, I am reasonably sure that I have never seen Vjera smile so much in an entire day than she did in just a few hours. She definitely looked more glamorous than I've ever seen her, her hair and makeup done tastefully and gently enough to remind everyone there that my sister is beautiful, something I've always known about this young woman who grew up with me and couldn't hide her inner beauty despite her best efforts to look as plain as possible.

I am confident that I have not lost one of my best friends, but traveled with her to another stage of her life; conversely, I am confident that I officially gained what I actually acquired a year ago when I first met him: Another brother, tied to my family in the reality of spirit and laughter more than in just legality.

So as I listened to the music of Came to My Rescue while Eddie and Vjera were taking communion together yesterday, I thought about how the words fit Vjera so well, and I thought that she might rewrite the song to say: "I called, You answered, and You gave me a husband."

Stardate: -316091.46

2007-02-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

Considering my relative lack of desire to take training hours at another house, I'm seriously thinking about not working regularly for Alvord-Taylor in any capacity. As much as Mohawk House was at times stressful and high maintenance, it was at least interesting and somewhat challenging, which are not things that I have experienced at many of the other houses I have worked at.

The outcome of that train of thought for me at the moment is that I am considering becoming a baseball umpire. My experience as a soccer referee in the fall made it clear to me that the transition to other sports is not as difficult as I once thought. I've enjoyed watching both football and baseball at times, so I will probably give those sports a try. The advantage of baseball for now would be that it is the only major high school sport in the spring/summer, and would give me another source of income and more flexibility for my work situation even into the fall, when I could do soccer again, try football if I want, and basketball season would be again around the corner.

Stardate: -316081.12

2007-01-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

My birthday was this past Friday. 24. It's been a long time since I had a birthday party where there were more people who came than there were years that I was old. Probably since I was six or seven, since I've rarely had a party that included more than my family or a few close friends. In any event, it wasn't just my party, but also jointly my brother Jason's. We had a ping pong tournament, which I had to run the gauntlet of my own family to win; admittedly, the best competition of the night was after the actual tournament when we played doubles, the first time in two or three years that we have done so. More to come in the near future, I imagine, since we all had a great time and the table can easily be set up over there. The only actual present I received was a plant, which was a new kind of gift. Though I do have an REI gift card from my parents waiting to be used...

Today will be the ninth consecutive day on which I had a game. I've had so many that I really don't want to call in for any hours at work until after basketball season, though I was tentatively planning to...

In the meantime since my last blog, I've experienced the new EmX, which almost reminds me more of the subway than of a bus; I found a Ralph Lauren jacket at Value Village for .99; and I've enjoyed biking and walking during the cold but very sunny weather.

Stardate: -316051.02

2007-01-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have noticed that before today, it has been nine days since my last blog entry. That's not because I didn't have time (I did), but because on many mornings I have been at my other home, where my half-brother's family and their friends live. Without scheduled shifts, there's no reason for me to hurry back to Springfield; instead, I hang out there, and I don't usually bother Jason enough to use his computer frequently.

I write better in the mornings, or at the very least, I have to push myself to do a blog entry in the evening. I'm more likely to get writer's block in the evening, whereas in the morning I find myself thinking lucidly and eager to spread my thoughts to the world.

So it will come to many of you as no surprise that I am, indeed, a morning person. Now I just need to take advantage of it and believe that there are more people than I might expect that read my thoughts.

Comments or no comments, I have faith that my blog does get read...

Stardate: -316050.99

2007-01-19T14:35:00.000-08:00

Now near the end of two weeks of only one shift at Alvord-Taylor, I can definitely say this has been a good change for me. By the end of tomorrow, I will have worked ten basketball games in those two weeks.

That is not to say that I am done with the agency or am making enough money to fulfill my goals, which is why I'm going to schedule some training hours at a couple different houses in the next few weeks during the day, working around my late afternoons and evenings that I need to keep available until the end of basketball season.

In the meantime, though there has been a welcome improvement in my interaction with friends and family, I would certainly like to do more. It is a shame not to have freedom; however, it is even more of a shame to have freedom and not use it, whatever the reason may be. That's why I press on, not to do more (necessarily) but to be more and to grow more.

Stardate: -316027.15

2007-01-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

With today being the first Wednesday since August that I did not work, I find myself loving my new flexible schedule. There's something about working 30 or 40 hours a week that really seems to stifle my passion for living, my God-given creative approach to existence.

I'm not necessarily saying that I won't ever work full-time in one job again (though I admit the thought is appealing at the moment). What I am saying is, I want to feel challenged, to have a daily realization that my life is not boring, that each day can bring it's own unique sense of 'interestingness'. I want the freedom that for me, to some extent, is inversely proportional to how much I feel like a slave to my schedule, to my overriding responsibilities.

I'm not saying that I want to be free of overriding responsibilities; rather, I'm saying that I want my everpresent, all-important responsibility to be following God, and loving people, and somehow aligning everything in my life to fulfill that responsibility. Perhaps you might think that I'm just caught in the quarterlife crisis, and having a streak of optimism that enables me to see the silver lining in impending change. However, I think my 'problem' is much more severe than that. I don't want to settle into anything immediately, and so dull that inner feeling that drives me to move, to innovate, to morph. Certainly, I'll commit to things involving schedule, family, friends, and spiritual life. But in all that, I hope to continue dreaming, and praying, and really doing both of those as one action.

I suppose the crux of what I'm talking about can be described by something I actually do periodically. I'll take a notebook pad, or perhaps just a couple sheets of paper, and I'll write down some combination of two categories: Where I am today, and where I would possibly like to be in a month, or six months, or two years. The backbone of this exercise for me is brutal honesty, and absolute freedom to dream. Nothing is off-limits. Nothing is unchangeable. Nothing is impossible.

Wherever I may be right now, I look at every area of my life critically. Where do I want my spiritual life to be? Do I want to have memorized another chapter of the Bible? Do I want to be on worship team at church? Do I want to read five spiritual classics? What about my friendships? Do I want new friends? Do I want a group that I can hang out with once a week? Who in particular would I like to know better, to hang out with more?

My point is, if I'm going to be a God-inspired optimist, then I'm going to be one who dreams, makes goals, works towards those goals, and later looks back and marvels at what God and I did together. God is much too radical and innovative for me to sit on my hands and think about what might be, what He is capable of doing in my life, yet not actually take steps and move towards the horizon.

Then I'll get another notebook pad, and I'll do it again.

Stardate: -316014.85

2007-01-06T22:06:00.000-08:00

Today was my last day of normal. By that, I mean that it was my last day in my regularly scheduled shift at Alvord-Taylor. However, I think that is a good slogan for me to live by in the coming weeks. With a flexible schedule comes a great deal of freedom. And with freedom comes opportunity.

That opportunity is one of wide open possibilities. It means that I have no excuses. It means that I can dream and move, without there being any seam of separation between the two.

I think, therefore I do. I dream, therefore I am. Just do it. Is it in you? Seize the day. Nothing is impossible.

From now on, normal means a new day, with new possibilities. So start dreaming.

Stardate: -316008.1

2007-01-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

It's actually past when I should be in bed, but I want to give you a mental picture. Imagine me -- quiet, unassuming, thoughtful, intelligent me -- goofing off in Winco at 10 PM while grocery shopping with two of my favorite friends, a tall outgoing black guy from New York City and a blond-haired girl from an upstate New York hicktown. Joking with them, making fun of each other while practically throwing food items haphazardly into the cart.

One thing I know, I've never gone grocery shopping quite like that before.

Stardate: -317995.79

2006-12-30T10:51:00.000-08:00

This is the week of the year, I believe, that lends itself more than any other to reflecting on one's life. And that's exactly what I've been doing. No exercise such as this can be mundane, considering the place I'm at right now and the reality that I have no idea where I'll be a year from today. Life is an adventure, and I am certain that it is better for one's outlook on their life to be impacted by that feeling of 'adventureness' than by the accompanying feeling of uncertainty.

I pray that during the course of every year of my life God would do more than I can envision; that He would take me someplace that I've never been before, symbolically if not literally, and on the way build in me such character that would otherwise take me years to accomplish, if I ever did.

This coming year is no different. What will I be doing a year from now? In the middle of my first year of graduate school or seminary? In another city of the Northwest, or a city on the East Coast? Still gloriously single, or blessed to be in a relationship?

Perhaps the important thing to prepare for is not making those decisions, but seeking every day of my life to pursue God, and to go wherever that vision will take me. All the while, making a resolution every day to pursue my dreams in the face of uncertainty, and never feel like I'm settling when God redirects me to His own vision.

Because, if I never accepted what He says as better, I might never exceed my own expectations. It doesn't matter so much what I resolve for this new year, but what does matter is my attitude, that I live this year expecting it to be the best year I've ever had.

2007, here I come.

Stardate: -317981.64

2006-12-25T06:53:00.000-08:00

As I woke up this morning, Christmas felt like just another day. But there's something that makes this day, for many people, one of the best days of the year. It's not because of Santa, or snow, or Jesus, or gifts, or family, though all of those things may help.

What can make this day great, just like any other day you've ever lived, is your attitude.

I know this because for a long time, I resented Christmas and didn't enjoy it very much. It is the onset of winter in many ways, and for many years my on-again, off-again struggle with depression came to a head during Christmastime. I also dislike it for what I think it represents to our culture: Commercialization, secularization, busyness and stress. But more than all that, I just chose not to like it.

Well, I don't resent Christmas anymore. I make a point of relaxing and giving myself a chance to reflect on my life, and especially what the Father has done for me in sending Jesus. I refuse to let Christ get lost in the holiday. I resolve to live in such a way that others might feel that I am a small part of God's gift to them, like I was last year when I spent much of my Christmas break doing hurricane relief work in Mississippi.

So whatever you may think about Christmas, remember this: When it's over, and you wake up on the next day you have to work or go to school and it is really is just another day, remember that what defines how good that day is for you is not circumstances, luck, other people, or even God. What defines your experience of every day is your attitude.

Stardate: -317975.58

2006-12-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

The company that my sisters work for, 9Wood, has previously expressed interest in hiring me, so in light of my job situation I filled out an application to work there. I won't work full time during basketball season, but they might have both the capability and the motivation to give me a work schedule that I would like working for the next couple months. I'm only interested in admin positions.

I did a very sloppy freshman game yesterday, one that was a decent game until the second half when we had to call probably over 25 fouls. I didn't have any big mistakes, but there are still a lot of things to learn and improve on.

I do two games in Creswell tonight.

In the meantime, I'm going to go look for sarcastic Christmas cards to give to people. Welcome to my idea of shopping for the holidays.

Stardate: -317949.48

2006-12-13T13:12:00.000-08:00

After the staff meeting at work this morning, I told my manager that I have decided to end my scheduled shift in January, with the first week of the month being my last regularly scheduled week.

I am not quitting the agency. I will probably train at a couple other houses and might apply for another shift if I find one that better fits my life and my schedule. I will be in the relief pool, which means I am a backup and different houses may call me if they need a shift covered.

Come second week of January, I will have greater availability for doing basketball games on any and all evenings and weekends. During January-March, officiating games should be my primary source of income. This also frees up my schedule for more social involvement in different areas, the ability to see my family more, and the freedom to be more involved with my church.

Stardate: -317947.06

2006-12-12T16:01:00.000-08:00

Resolutions:

1. I resolve to be challenged by my work.
2. I resolve to enjoy my work.
3. I resolve that whomever I work for and with, and what I do, will benefit from the skills and abilities that I bring to work every day.
4. I resolve that my work schedule will fit with the texture, schedule, and priorities of my life, and not vice versa.
5. I resolve to stick with what I am involved with now if it clearly benefits me more than the immediate, practical alternatives. If it does not, I resolve to be open to initiating change.
6. I resolve to keep growing and changing and trying new things, no matter what area of my life or what season I am in.

Preferences:

1. I would rather do something that is physically active.
2. If I have two jobs, I would rather work more hours for the one I enjoy the most.
3. I would rather work mornings and have flexible evenings than vice versa.
4. I would rather do something that is mentally challenging than something that is emotionally or socially stressful.
5. Considering the opportunities to do lots of games during basketball season, I would rather maximize my availability even if it means that my income and schedule is more inconsistent.

Stardate: -317947.02

2006-12-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

For a while this afternoon, I sat in our living room and looked at what you see in the picture: A chair, and an as-yet-undecorated Christmas tree. This provided a focal point while I contemplated the state of my life, particularly my work situation. Working for the Alvord-Taylor Mohawk House has been the singular source of angst for me in the last two months, and at times also a cause of dissatisfaction.

Don't misunderstand me; I don't hate working there, or yet have any "irreconcilable differences" with any of the staff or residents. Nor do I resent the frequent behavioral issues, because, as annoying as they are, they also build character (as Calvin's dad would say). But the other facts glare at me like the eyes of a black cat at the side of the bike path in the dark night: My shift occupies four of my evenings every week, evenings during which I would otherwise hang out with my family or friends, attend church-related functions, or get paid for doing basketball games; I am not paid much more than minimum wage, especially now that the extra $1/hour of crisis pay has officially ended; my work, despite the interruptions of craziness, does not particularly challenge me or captivate me, or provide much opportunity for progressive skill-building and/or upward mobility.

In the meantime, I have discovered that I enjoy basketball officiating more than I expected, and find it a unique kind of work that provides plenty of opportunity for learning, enjoyment, developing new skills, and possibilities of working at higher levels in the future. It also pays $10-15/hour in calculated total time investment. From a numbers standpoint, if I had no limitations on my evening and weekend availability, I could work 8-10 games a week in the months of January through March and make about as much as I make for A-T.

As you can probably guess by my thought process, all of this is leading to a change, most likely sometime in the month of January. I'll put my resolutions concerning this area of my life in the following post.

Stardate: -317939.04

2006-12-09T17:54:00.000-08:00

I was covering for someone today at work, so I worked from 9-4. It's great to be off before the evening for once.

I'm not sure exactly where the situation with my work house is at because I heard secondhand that the house is "officially" not closing. Then I heard secondhand that they are redoing the schedule at the house...again (that's the reason there was an open shift for me in the first place, because they had re-worked the schedule). I'm not sure if all of that is entirely true, and what drastic change allowed it to be possible. I'll find out later, I guess.

At any rate, if they re-do the schedule...I may not reapply for my shift, or a shift at that house at all...I don't know yet.

As for my own commentary on these pending/yet to be enacted decisions, I think some change is necessary, both for the residents at the house and probably for myself. For myself because I, at the very least, want more of my evenings available to hang out with friends, and do more basketball games during basketball season.

Stardate: -317927

2006-12-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life's circumstances have me scratching my head, wondering how this came about. Such is the case with tonight, when a black man, his German wife, and two kids, their family just having moved from the Big Apple to Oregon (how many times has that happened in the history of the country?), come to have dinner with my spiritually conservative, middle class suburban white family.

Go figure. God's either chuckling about it, scheming on his next "You won't believe this one either" plan, or maybe doing both. Needless to say, he has no respect for man's barriers, so why not break down a whole bunch of them in one fell swoop?

This should be fun. Bring it on, God.

Stardate: -317918.75

2006-12-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

I learned this week that the house that I work at is closing at the end of January. Apparently the agency is losing a lot of money every year from this house and they needed to make a drastic change.
Then yesterday, I had a nightmarish day. Another throwing-a-fit-and-running-away episode from our most recent troublesome resident, and another resident who was overbearingly loud most of the shift. Sometimes I'd like to able to work a day without being grabbed, slapped, or sprayed in the face with a shower sprayer (that last one was an accident).

Maybe three months working at this house is all I can take. What happens then? I don't know.

Some other not-so-random thoughts:

I'm quite pleased with my new bike.

It snowed earlier this week (hence the pictures).

Right now, it is gorgeously clear and sunny outside. Maybe a day to take some more pictures.

The Warren family (the family that moved to Oregon from New York City, and is now staying in my half brother's downstairs apartment) had dinner with my family last night in what will probably be the first of many fun times together. Too bad I wasn't there for most of it.

College basketball season is in full swing, which is always something to be excited about in the cold winter months. I think I'll watch a game on TV this morning.

Stardate: -317905.69

2006-11-27T13:33:00.000-08:00

Having been informed by my mom that I need to be well-dressed for my older sister's wedding (I was actually planning on going in cords and a tie-dye shirt, but I guess I'll have to ditch that plan), and having been reluctantly coaxed to go along with her and my two younger brothers to shop for that purpose on Black Friday morning, I found myself standing in JCPenney's amid rows of suit jackets, all marked down, and all still out of my price range. Granted, my mom did say that she would pay for it. But even so, paying $80 or $100 for one piece of clothing really bothers me.

Why? Maybe because I'm cheap. Maybe because I've met too many homeless people, and even given the jacket off my back to one of them, and my gloves to another. Maybe because I spent my Christmas break last year in a small town in Mississippi in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and had my consumer priorities rewritten again.

True, I do need a black suit jacket, even if the word "need" is relative. But I've got to be able to find one for $50 or less. Gosh, even if it cost "only" $50, it might still be the most expensive piece of clothing I've ever worn.

I'm not against spending money; I'll spend a great deal of time in my life earning it, and I've got to do something with it. God says to give 10% to him, and be generous with the rest. But if spending less of my money (or someone else's) on myself helps me to be more generous in attitude and in practicality, then by all means, call me cheap and you're completely right.

And when I do have a black suit jacket, and I know someone who needs one, I won't hesitate at all to give it to them. (Don't worry, Mom, I'll wait until after the wedding.)

Stardate: -317897.19

2006-11-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday it was Thanksgiving. And I worked. I probably should have asked for it off, since no one else did (?!) and we had too many staff there. I did manage to leave almost two hours early, though, and hang out with Jason and Jeff's family after a speedy ride across town.

I guess if one is going to work on a holiday, yesterday was just about ideal, since it was slow, relatively quiet, low stress, lots of food to eat, and holiday pay to boot.

Riding my bike in the rain can be annoying sometimes, but it does help me appreciate when the sky clears up for a few minutes as it did this morning.

Calling today "Black Friday" is, I think, kind of depressing, seeing as this is one of the greatest testaments to how consumer-driven American culture is, as well as the fact that the moniker "Black Friday" refers to so many negative events in history (see Link below).

Stardate: -317890.07

2006-11-21T21:02:00.000-08:00

In the aforementioned week, during which some of you may have noticed blogs from me were conspicuously absent, there wasn't much that happened worth noting, but perhaps more than the silence suggests:

I did my first game for the (basketball referee) association, an 8th-grade girls game in Pleasant Hill that required a car trip. After which I came home and wrote down more than a dozen habits that I need to either make or break.

A mostly uneventful week of work, until Saturday, when all I need to say is asking you to imagine this picture in your mind: Me, wearing pants and a t-shirt, walking down Mohawk Blvd in Springfield in 50-degree weather, hand-in-hand with a 40-something developmentally disabled lady wearing only a dress, slippers, and my jacket.

Seeing friends from New York City, who I haven't seen for seven years, because they moved to Oregon and now live in the downstairs apartment on my half-brother Jason's property.

Stardate: -317890.04

2006-11-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

Look, a week later and I post a picture of my new bicycle. This purchase, which I believe is the single largest purchase I've ever made outside of paying for college, took me all week. A week of riding the bus everywhere, of walking a mile and a half to work and back. An afternoon of browsing bike shops and finding a bike that I wanted, then adjusting my price range to fit the bike (something my budget and my money saved from transportation costs allowed me to do), and waiting three days for the bike shop to put together a bike that is the best size for me. And now my new favorite toy, which is really much more than a toy: A contraption that is probably the most economical purchase I've ever made, one that at my present rate will pay for itself in less than a year. A machine that is high quality to the point when it might well save me a couple hundred dollars in deferred maintenance.

What a difference a week can make.

Stardate: -317867.28

2006-11-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Behold, one of the things that keep a wheel from turning.

That which you see in the picture is the rear derailer on my bicycle. This happened on Saturday night, when on my bicycle trip across town I was down-shifting while going up the Defazio Bike Bridge. Apparently the chain got stuck, and the leverage from my pedaling foot caused bending of the frame/derailer, locking the derailer in the spokes of my bicycle.

Can it be fixed? How much will it cost? Will I decide to just replace the bicycle?

I'll know soon...

Stardate: -317861.9

2006-11-11T14:15:00.000-08:00

At work on Thursday night, one of the residents had a rough day. It culminated in this resident going AWOL from the house. Since there was another staff member at the house, I followed the resident. As I was hustling to catch up with her, I had one of those moments of priceless inner dialogue, when I asked myself why I am doing this job, and decided that things like this are exactly the reason I do it. Because I was there, I was ready to act, and at that moment, I was the only person who could do what I did. Because when there are problems, monotony doesn't exist, and where there is no monotony, there is no boredom. Because many of life's lessons are learned in the heat of the battle, in the midst of conflict.

And, actually, we had a nice walk. A break from the house, and thankfully, the end of the tantrum that preceded the departure.

Now I go back to work again, and who knows what might happen...

Stardate: -317853.29

2006-11-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

Now that Vjera and Hope have moved back into the house with the rest of the family, there is no way for me to ride over with one of them after my side job on Mon/Wed/Fri morning. I have the option of either biking or taking the bus or some combination of both. This morning I biked, which may have been God's grace for my younger brother, because he hadn't woke up on time when I arrived home at ten after eight. If I had taken the bus, he would have been late for school.

Basketball season has started. I have my first game for the association on Monday, a junior high game in Pleasant Hill. I wouldn't normally be going out of the city, but this is an exception because my assigner wanted to pair me with a more experienced referee. I will probably be doing two games a week during the season for the assoc., usually a junior high game on Monday evening, and probably a junior high, freshman, or JV game on Tuesday evening. I'm not likely to get any high level varsity games during my first year.

Kidsports basketball season doesn't start until January, when I'll start doing a couple games most Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons.

Stardate: -317853.21

2006-11-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

I went to the bridge club yesterday afternoon, and played about three hours of duplicate bridge with a bunch of mostly retired people.

It was an experience. Duplicate is a different format -- everyone plays the same hands, so it's entirely skill that determines who does the best -- and it took a little getting used to but I caught on pretty quick. The rounds were timed, so I had to play faster than I am used to but it didn't throw me off very much. Some of the bidding threw me off; my partner, who was a little old lady named Anna Mae, was a decent player. She bid a five-card major, a slightly weak one no-trump, a weak two bid, and a weak jump raise, all things that are not the same as I prefer and am used to. On the first hand, she bid her weak two hearts, I didn't know what it meant, and got into a contract that I couldn't make; everything went wrong during playing the hand and I went down four. Ouch.

It did get better from there. We made some, got set some, and had some nice defensive play to set a few contracts. I underbid two hands, both of which I should have pushed to a game contract. The oddity of the day was that I was dealt (and bid) four takeout doubles, one of which was a picture-perfect strong 4-4-4-1. I also doubled a preempt. The memorable hand of the day was one in which my partner opened a heart, a suit in which I had a void. I had near an opening hand, even if I didn't count the void as any points. I responded with two of my minor suit, and North overcalled at the two level. My partner jumped to four hearts (!) and of course, I had no viable option but to pass her misfit of a game contract. During the play of the hand, trump broke 6-1 and we went down two.

At the end of the day, my team was 13 out of 15 (thankfully we weren't the worst) and my percentile was 37.5, apparently better than some first timers.

I realize that all that I just said will mean almost nothing to most people who read it, outside of my family. However, if you do play bridge or would like to learn, let me know. It's a great card game.

Stardate: -317848.23

2006-11-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

This picture is from a couple weeks ago, as you probably know if you have experienced any of our rainy weather here recently in Oregon. Most of the trees are either bare of leaves, or more a dull brown or yellow color, rather than this colorfulness.

I have a bus pass now, which I got for a ridiculously low price through my work. I used it this morning while on my way across town to hang out with a friend. I had never taken my bike on a bus before, so it took me a couple minutes to figure out exactly where the "handle in the middle" of the bike rack was, which the bus driver was yelling about at me because he was getting upset. It's not very obvious where the handle is. Anyway, I didn't mind the bus driver getting upset so much after a lady came running up to catch the bus just before we left. If I hadn't delayed the bus, she would have missed it.

I did a U14 boys championship soccer game yesterday, as a linesman, and worked in three other games over the weekend also. The championship game was kind of low key, though the players on the winning team were quite exuberant.

I actually drove my car from the field to Lane Community College for my basketball referee training, and afterwards to Jason's house where I left it. It's going to come off insurance in a couple weeks and I have no plans to drive it for several months at least, so I figured it would be best for it to be off the street.

At the referee training, I found not only that I am rusty, and thrown off a little bit by my recent soccer experience, as well as needing to unlearn some old mechanics so I can do it properly. It's good to have trainers who can challenge you, as that is something that I never experienced much in my past experience in basketball officiating.

Stardate: -317839.38

2006-11-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

I was just starting onto the bike path off West D St in Springfield last night, and something happened that I didn't expect: I was adjusting the headlight on my bike, and the top unscrewed and came off, falling onto the path and rolling, along with the two batteries that were inside.

As I braked to a stop, I realized that the only thing I could see in the darkness were a lot of leaves covering the ground. For a long moment, I was completely helpless and had no idea what to do.

You see, usually I have my other headlight with me, the one I wear on my head, but not on this night. It needed to have its batteries replaced, and I didn't want to take the time to do it, and rather than bringing both the light and the batteries with me, I just left them behind.

After a couple minutes spent futilely poking around in the darkness, I just hopped on my bike, rode home, grabbed my other headlight, replaced the batteries, and rode back out to the scene. It took about five minutes to find the loose pieces even with my bright headlight. Of course, the batteries were the same color as the leaves.

The delay was about 30 minutes. 30 minutes that I would have rather added to my sleep time last night. After this, I'll always keep my second light with me.

Stardate: -317834.33

2006-11-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

I am now learning everything I didn't already know about the rules of basketball, which is not very much, but more than I thought it would be.

I learned a lesson yesterday while biking in the early (and already dark) evening: Always carry extra batteries with you, because even if you have two lights, both can be dim at the same time. And a dim light is barely better than no light at all.

When it gets really cold like it is this week here in Oregon, I find myself doing two things: Putting "buying biking tights and/or long johns" on my to-do list, and praying for rainy weather (because an overcast sky is nearly always less cold than a clear one). Maybe I'll buy a ski hat also, you know, one of those warm head coverings that you pull down over your face so you look like a bandit.

Stardate: -317828.74

2006-10-30T11:46:00.000-08:00

Another weekend, and I did even more biking than last week. Maybe around 55 miles? Three soccer games in two different places on Saturday, work on Saturday, church and back on Sunday, and to LCC for a meeting of the LCBOA (Lane County Basketball Officials Assocation). It was the first meeting of the year. They're going to have some pretty extensive training for new referees like me. I also have homework this week...reading the rule book and such. It's a good thing I like basketball. I'm glad basketball season is starting, and glad that there is something for me to excited about in the wintertime. God bless you, James Naismith, for inventing such an amazing sport, and I look forward to meeting you in heaven.

When my cell phone rang yesterday, I did a double take. What is that? I thought. Oh, yeah, it's my phone. It is nice to have one; I would probably describe it as ultra-convenient. Welcome to a new age of communication, I say to myself.

Stardate: -317821.71

2006-10-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. I got a cell phone. Some of you are probably thinking, "It's about time!" I've been putting this next step of my communication ability off for a while. And admittedly, I have mixed feelings about it.

I probably would have procrastinated on it longer if it weren't for my schedule, particularly my weekends, when I can be away from home for nearly two days. At least three times now my mom has relayed a message to me through my sister's cell phone. But more than just for the convenience, this is also a significant step for me personally. Though I have been brewing over the possibility for some time, I definitely realized it this past Sunday at college group. We had a prayer time, during which we were encouraged to invite God to speak to us, especially about anything new He might want us to do. I felt pretty strongly that God was urging me to get a cell phone, and not wait in doing it.

Why? It's basically a statement on my part. That I'm available. That I'm reachable. That I will correspond with people, talk with people, minister to people. There are a number of people I know who I don't talk to right now. There are also people I know that I have trouble connecting with. There are also people that just need to reach me on occasion. All groups will benefit -- eventually, and probably immediately -- from this change.

So, in a sense, what my own choice would have been for my life, to remain without a cell phone, was overruled by the only One who truly has overruling power in my life. I don't even like talking on the phone. I fully plan to set some guidelines for my phone use and stick to them, making my phone serve me instead of me serving it.

And if you want to talk, give me a call. You should
be able to reach me, through that odd device that's in my pocket at the moment.

Stardate: -317816.11

2006-10-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

I managed to alter my work schedule today so I could attend Eugene Faith Center's Wednesday night service. While I was there I had a couple reflections.

I talked to my former youth pastor, Andy Gilbert, for the first time in at least three years. Seeing him, and thinking of his investment in my life, reminded me of how many people there are who have had some positive impact on me and their vested interest in the life that I live, even if they don't get many chances to express it. I don't know where many of them are now. But it reminds me of how much of a cascade effect others have had on me, and subsequently I have on others. Everyone is tied together, for good or not, and I hope that I will live up to the most amazing, God-given hopes of all those people who have touched me in some way in my twenty-three-plus years.

I also found myself wondering where the disabled people are. I'm around them for such a large portion of my week that I really am growing comfortable with them. I'm not awkward around them socially like I am with all the "other" people I come in contact with in other areas of my life. I may be overstating it a bit, but nonetheless, the genuineness of self-identity and transparency that many disabled people live out regularly is contagious, and I find myself wanting to see those same positive qualities reflected not only in myself but in all other people I talk to. I really do believe that it takes humanity to another level of sorts when we accept who we are and live completely within those created boundaries that God gave us when He made us -- the things that make each person truly just as they are and not exactly like anyone else.

Stardate: -317810.09

2006-10-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

Another weekend, and again a busy and active one. I estimate that I biked about 40 miles combined over the two days, and that is even with getting a couple rides. I also reffed four soccer games, two each day, and worked on Saturday.

Sunday was the last day at church for one family that I know. This couple, who now have two small kids, were part of the original church planting team that came from Texas. They are moving to the east coast. I personally have been friends with them for four years, though I didn't see them very much during that time while I was at college. As I reflect on the changes that come, I'm reminded that no one person or group of people is irreplaceable, but everyone contributes in a valuable way. In other words, time for people like me to continue moving forward, and step up.

Stardate: -317796.96

2006-10-18T21:22:00.002-07:00

It was my first day at my new house for work yesterday, and it was very different. Some people are definitely harder to love than others.

I was thinking about it this morning, and I reflected that there are two ways I can go as I work. Either I can just try to tolerate people and get along. Or I can ask the Father to give me a love for them. His love. Because I don't have enough love in me without Him to love these people. It is time for me to do more than others, to love those who are difficult, those I may not get along with.

Stardate: -317790.52

2006-10-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

I learned last week that I got the shift I applied for at the house off Mohawk Street in Springfield. It's Wednesday through Saturday, 1 pm to 9 pm (except Wed., when there's a staff meeting in the morning and a shift from 2 - 8 pm). That means I'll have limited hours, mostly free mornings, a consistent schedule, and a three-day weekend. That gives me the ability to ref some, keep my other side job in the mornings, and pick up an extra shift now and then. As I mentioned before, this particular house is challenging, which means a $1 per hour increase in pay (or so I've heard). And I shouldn't be bored.

I start training tomorrow morning (my schedule is slightly different this week than it would be normally because I'm training). In the meantime, I ref a Kidsports soccer game today in Eugene before I go to the LCSRA meeting this evening.

Stardate: -317790.36

2006-10-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

I bought new music recently, and it's shown in this picture. If you click on the picture, you should be able to read the titles. That's what I have been listening to lately.

I buy new music at a discount, through one of those "Buy 12 CDs for the price of one" mail-order things. There's no catch with this one, provided I keep up with refusing the "Featured Selections" that they send me every few weeks. I wait for the best deals -- usually they're "Buy 1, get unlimited at 2.99/1.99" -- and buy large numbers every year or so. This is how I have a CD collection of well over 100 and the average price I paid per CD is about $7. I don't burn music (see the most recent post on my Profundus Sententia blog, link below or on the left sidebar), so this is my way of finding a good middle ground that works with my enjoyment of music, my thriftyness, and my firm morality.

Stardate: -317790.19

2006-10-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

I did two U14 (under 14) games as a linesman early on Saturday morning, and it was pretty cold for the first one. Those were my first games as a part of the LCSRA (Lane County Soccer Referee Association). I also did two games on Sunday afternoon, a second grade and a third grade, at two different schools. It sprinkled during the first and rained pretty hard during the second before it cleared up in the second half.

Though other people may think I'm weird and crazy for saying so, I think it's fun to referee soccer games in the rain. I suppose it helps that of all the people out there, including the players wearing long-sleeved shirts under their jerseys, the coaches yelling out directions and encouragement, and the parents in their lawn chairs under umbrellas, I'm the only one actually getting paid for it.

Besides, people may think I'm weird or crazy anyway, especially since I biked there in the rain to start with, and I'm very serious about what I do, whether it's for seventh graders or second graders.

Stardate: -317779.38

2006-10-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went mini-golfing while I was working. I went with another staff and a resident, so the resident could have a good time while doing something outside of the house.

I had a couple reflections about this. First, it's really cool to get paid to do something fun while you're working.

Second, I was reminded again that the reason I am in this job is for unselfish reasons. I'm not in it for me and what I get out of it; I'm in it for other people. Sometimes my motives are just selfish; and while I'm on earth anyway, there's not going to be a time that I made it, that I become completely unselfish. I'm always struggling, battling with certain aspects of my sinful nature that rear their appealing, destructive heads more often than I would like.

And that's one of the things I do like about this job. Unselfishness, patience, and humility are acquired almost as a byproduct of what I do, even without me making any special effort. That's really the only thing I want to get out of it: Character.

So I remind myself again: I'm not in this for me. That one determination could change how I look at a lot of different things in life. Because my outlook on life is always determined by internal things, not external things; by motives and decisions, not by circumstances or other people. I pray that's something we always remember.

Stardate: -317776.67

2006-10-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

Recently, when I'm working and I find myself with nothing to do at a certain moment, I seem to frequently do the same thing: Reach for the fly swatter.

Flies are things that are really kind of harmless, and you might be able to ignore them, that is, until they start landing on your head and on your plate and on the food that you're cooking.

When that happens, even though I'm not usually a violent person, I have only one thought: KILL IT.

I was doing this makeshift pest-exterminating so much yesterday my co-workers were simultaneously laughing and hoping that I wasn't going to cause a dead fly to land on them or, worse, hit the fly when it is on them (I wouldn't do that to anyone else, only myself).

A year ago, when I was at camp in Michigan, there were a lot of flies, and I got such a reputation for killing them that when the staff in my unit sat down at the end of the summer to give each other awards, they chose to give me the Fly-Swatting Award, complete with a fly-swatter shaped piece of cardboard with my award written on it. I don't know if I would put that on a resume, but I think it's safe to say that I have "Mad fly-swatting skillz," which consists of the ability to kill a fly on the ceiling, to kill two flies at the same time, to use two different fly swatters at the same time, and to have a higher-than-85% success rate when swatting flies.

I'll probably hook the fly swatter onto my caribiner belt clip at work today, so it will be there when I need it.

Stardate: -317776.39

2006-10-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

I applied for a specific shift at the "intense" house yesterday. I went in to the office so I could see the job postings, not sure which I would choose to apply for of the three shifts that I liked best. I got an advantage because attached to each posting were slips from other staff who had applied to each particular shift. So I chose one that no one had applied for (yet). It is possible that another person or two might apply for it today (which is the last day to apply), but I seem to stand a good chance. The consensus I've heard from different staff in the agency is that besides the people who already work at that house, no one really wants to work there.

I'm not sure if it's because of the difficult work environment or the demand for workers or both, but people who work at this particular house get an extra dollar-per-hour of "crisis pay."

Stardate: -317771.11

2006-10-09T10:48:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a lot of biking for me, to church in time to set up (the photo shown was taken at about 8:40 AM), back to my half-brother's house, to a middle school off Coburg road for two soccer games, to West Eugene for college group. I got a ride home after college group. Regrettably, it was my only day off work and I still worked at my side jobs for over three hours.

In the midst of all this, though, was a rejuvenating worship time at church, and a couple photo taking sessions during the sunny day. The leaves are turning colors and falling, and it's really beautiful weather right now.

I work 12-7 PM, Monday-Friday this week at the E St house.

The Alvord-Taylor house which is supposedly the most intense, and which I haven't worked at yet, just redid their schedule and consequently, every shift at that house is open for applicants right now. I will probably apply to at least one of the shifts. They have a Monday-Friday, 6 AM - 1 (or 2) PM schedule that I like a lot, though it would clash with my side job.
I would prefer to work at a more challenging house where there is more to do, compared to a couple of the houses I've been at (one of which I trained at for two days last week) where nothing happens and it just seems pretty boring. I don't like being bored at my job, and it doesn't exactly give me a sense of purpose and fulfillment to watch TV or to sit around all day.

Stardate: -317766.74

2006-10-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a few of the better results of my photograph-taking experiments. I did these while I was at work today and I was outside in the yard with a resident.

Stardate: -317760.06

2006-10-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

There's me and my new camera in one of my first attempts at digital camera photography. I'll try to post my pictures occasionally, at least until I have a photo-sharing place to store them.

Stardate: -317759.74

2006-10-05T07:13:00.000-07:00

My parents gave me a generous graduation gift, and I used the money to buy some new music (which hasn't arrived yet) and a digital camera. I've wanted a digital camera for several months now; it seems frequent that I see something and think, "I want to take a picture of that." I'm not sure why I'm more excited about the possibility of photography than I used to be. Maybe I see the world through different eyes, and I know now that the kind of pictures I want to take are not typical. If, for instance, I take pictures of people (which may not be very common), they won't usually be the "stop-and-look-at-the-camera-and-smile-and-say-cheese" type, but instead I'll try to catch them in natural moments when they're just being themselves.

At the very least, it should be something challenging and interesting for me to experiment with as a hobby. I've wanted another hobby recently. Also, it will help my visual memory to take pictures of things and people, as I have difficulty recalling what someone or something looks like when I haven't seen them for a long time.

Stardate: -317755.22

2006-10-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

I went to a meeting last night for the LCSRA (Lane County Soccer Referee Association). It was quite long and very interesting. Referees are a very fascinating group of people. There is a specific code of ethics that they follow, and in order to be a good referee one must not only follow and enforce the rules but also have a well thought out motivation in terms of philosophy and ethics.

Though I am interested in refereeing soccer, I was reminded again how much I favor basketball as my sport. More than just looking forward to do a few soccer games for the association, I am excited for basketball season, the opportunity to be a certified basketball referee and do high school games, and even the possibility of moving on from there to a higher level. Basketball has always been my favorite sport, and any opportunity that I get to be paid to be around the game is very welcome and something that I may pursue to some extent.

I am scheduled to do two U14 (under age 14) games as a linesman on next Saturday.

Stardate: -317752.1

2006-10-02T12:21:00.000-07:00

After a busy weekend, working all day on Saturday, going to church and doing my side jobs on Sunday, a day off is a welcome thing. It's always amazing to me how much of a difference it makes to take a Sabbath as God directs us to do very specifically in Scripture. By that I don't mean just a day off work, but also a day when I actually rest, spend time with God, and generally avoid any and all stressful situations and activities.

My friend Wes visited this weekend so he could see the baby Josiah. It was good to see him. I wonder if he also might come back to the Northwest in the next year or two, as it seems that the people that he wants to be around are here. He says that Phoenix is "cooling off" and starting to get down to 70 degrees at nighttime.

I have a busy week. I'm only scheduled for two shifts at the moment, but I'll pick up at least two more one way or another. I have several meetings, not all of which I'll be going to, and my sister Vjera's 25th birthday is on Thursday. I believe my cousin Vanieca is coming down on Friday.

If you're in the Eugene area, enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. I'm happy to be seeing leaves on the ground, it's really the first time in six years for me.

Stardate: -317744

2006-09-29T13:29:00.001-07:00

This morning, after working my side job over by River Road, neither of my sisters left late enough for work to be able to give me a ride, so I took my time by bike. I went to G.I. Joes, Papa's office to say hi, downtown Eugene to drop off my time sheet, and back home. The bike path on the river is really beautiful when it's sunny.

Just when I was arriving home I passed by both Mom and Thad riding different places on their bikes. Since Papa rode the bus to work today in order to ride home on his Coker (read: big-wheel unicycle), and Simon regularly rides to school on his Coker, that means there were five of us riding man-powered transportation contraptions today. Besides Simon, that means the four of us had corresponding drive-able cars sitting in the garage, driveway, or in front of the house.

This just in: Gas prices for bicycles (and unicycles) are staying steady, registering no increases in the recent past.

Stardate: -317743.99

2006-09-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

I applied for a specific shift for the house I am working at right now. I don't know who else has applied for it so I don't have any idea of whether I'll get it or not. It's just a temporary shift because the staff member who holds it is on an "indefinite" leave of absence. I'm not sure what that means. I guess that makes this schedule "indefinitely temporary."

My criminal background check hasn't been cleared yet, so I'm not allowed to be alone with the residents, but I am cleared to drive. Yesterday I drove for transport with another staff member riding in the van (transport is when we pick up/drop off the residents at their work). Both workplaces we picked residents up were in the far corners of Eugene, so the whole trip took over two hours. Kind of fun to get paid for driving.

I decided that it is interesting to drive a 12-passenger van with several developmentally disabled people in it, but not quite as exciting as driving a 15-passenger van with 12 rowdy teenagers in it. And now I've done both.

Stardate: -317739.42

2006-09-27T21:18:00.002-07:00

It's such nice weather this week here in Oregon.

I'm applying for my own health insurance policy, as I am no longer going to be covered on my parents'.

There's an open schedule at the house I'm working at that I might try to get, I haven't decided yet. If not, I'll probably start training at another house next week.

God willing, I'm going to make my first payment on my student loan this week. I'm on my own custom plan determining the dates and amounts of my own payments, because of course they give you way too long to pay it back and therefore pay was too much interest. Not me. I'm going to pay it back as soon as I can.

I'm looking forward to basketball season. Now that I'm not in college, I have a little more time to follow what's happening, and I'll be refereeing as well, which certainly feeds how much I enjoy the game.

Stardate: -317732.84

2006-09-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

With four real, uneventful games under my belt as a soccer referee, I am now relatively certain that referee experience is cumulative regardless of what sport it is in, although there is certainly in-sport experience as well.

I have been doing 3rd and 4th grade games, which is a good age because they can play the game some rather than just kicking the ball around, but they are still young enough to be (relatively) innocent and obedient. They're also small enough that I can keep up with them without having to use linesmen.

Stardate: -317724.94

2006-09-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

To buy or to borrow?

That was the question that was going through my mind earlier today as I was browsing at my local public library. I like owning books, as it basically ensures that I will actually read the book. However, I am picky, and will often get indecisive when faced with buying a book that I really do actually want to own. If I borrow, I'll often borrow several at a time, and frequently not read all of them. When I'm borrowing, my intent is to give myself options for reading, not necessarily to read all of them.

The flip side of buying is that books, as wonderful as they are, are also bulky and can be hard to store, especially for someone who does not have his own place yet and is prone to move around a great deal in the next few years. Books are also expensive, especially new; but that is not much of a problem for me as I am an avid bargain shopper. So what it comes down to is whether I'm actually likely to read or reference a book more than once. If so, then it is usually worth buying. Even more so if it is one of my favorite books, is by one of my favorite authors, has enduring value, or is particularly interesting to me.

So, my resolution is to buy carefully, and borrow liberally when that option is available to me.

Stardate: -317718.94

2006-09-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

Apparently Josiah, ny nephew, is a feisty little newborn. It's no surprise, since his name, I'm told, means "fire of God." Oh, wait, maybe not. I just Googled it and several different websites says it means "Jehovah helps" or "Jehovah heals." But, no, another website says it means "fire of the Lord" (see Link below). So maybe there is some credibility to it. Perhaps both will be true of my nephew.

Stardate: -317718.92

2006-09-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

On Monday I had Paul's Bicycle Shop in Eugene put fenders on my bike. Fairly reasonable and it would have been difficult if I had tried to do it, probably 3-5 hours and a trip to the hardware store to get new screws. The person who was taking my payment said, "Now you're ready for the winter." To which I responded, "Here, it means I'm ready for the fall, winter, and spring."

So, I say, bring on the rain...

I also bought soccer linesman flags while I was running errands. Now I'm all set to be a soccer referee, except for my shirt which is kind of small for me, I really need to trade it in and get a larger shirt.

Stardate: -317714.12

2006-09-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

That sunburn you can see on my face in the previous photo is from spending all afternoon on a soccer field yesterday (Sunday). There was a preseason tournament put on by Kidsports with many back-to-back half-length games, partially for the purpose of training new referees like myself. I did about seven twenty-minute games in five hours. I found that even though I am relatively new to soccer, my previous experience as a basketball referee gives me a significant advantage in being prepared.

There was a referee trainer there who was a "real" referee, by which I mean that he has refereed high school level or higher for an association. He said that the Lane County Association is badly in need of soccer referees right now, and that he would help me get connected with them if I was interested. I am, definitely. Though at first I was hesitant, I realized as the afternoon progressed that I may be more ready for higher-level officiating than I realize. So I'll get in touch with them and see what happens.

Stardate: -317713.97 Supplemental

2006-09-18T15:39:00.000-07:00

Stardate: -317713.97

2006-09-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

I was at Jason's for Saturday night and Sunday morning before church but I didn't see him or Kristen because they went into the hospital after her water broke on Saturday. Early Sunday they induced labor, but the baby wouldn't come, so they did a C-section. The baby is healthy, 7 lbs 4 oz, with brown hair and named Josiah David Wolf. I, now an uncle, saw my nephew this morning when mom and I visited them at the hospital. Kristen is doing fine but they're keeping her in the hospital for a couple days. I saw Jason's parents when they were here yesterday (Sunday morning), and Kristen's parents this morning.

Stardate: -317713.95

2006-09-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

On Saturday evening, not long after we had returned from Portland, I biked out to 32nd St. in Springfield to the new Regional Sports Center and did one game as a soccer linesman. I was supposed to do a second game also, but it was a forfeit, so I got paid for two games (cash on-site -- can't beat that!) and got to leave early. I then rode my bike directly to Jason's house on River Road, about 15 miles and took 1.25 hours.

Soccer is a relatively simple sport, but the offsides rule is tricky. As a linesman, you're primarily responsible for calling the offsides violation. I think I finally understand it completely, since I looked at FIFA's 17 laws of the game.

Stardate: -317713.92

2006-09-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

The real reason we went to Portland on Saturday was not for Powell's or sushi, but for my cousin Brian's wedding in the afternoon. It was a more formal, expensive wedding (at least for my family's frame of reference), but was offset by the fact that both the bride and groom were goofy and amusing. Ironically, the most memorable part of the wedding may have been the 10 minutes or so at the end that someone was trying to get a slideshow to play on a computer and we could see everything that he was doing on the big white screen at the front of the church. It didn't work, partially because the computer wasn't working very well. My technologically literate siblings (particularly my two younger brothers, who both do sound at youth group and other various church events) and I are all sitting in the same pew, whispering, "What are you doing?! Try a different media player! Can't you see Real Player at the top of the screen?" And so on.

I, for one, will have no qualms about asking one of my younger brothers to do sound at my wedding, provided he isn't offended about not being in the wedding party. But that's still a ways off. I was wondering, at my cousin's wedding where I didn't know very many people, and where I met his bride for the first time, how many people I'll invite to my wedding and how many of my friends from college will actually come.

My cousin, by the way, is my age, about a month older than me. That means that all my cousins that are my age are now married (there's three of them), though I have three older cousins who aren't married yet.

Stardate: 317713.88 Supplemental

2006-09-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...maybe retractable chopsticks?

Stardate: -317713.88

2006-09-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

It was a long, fun weekend. Today is also an off-day, which I am very grateful for.

On Saturday, I rode to Portland with my mom and two sisters. We went to Powell's (arguably the coolest bookstore I've ever been to) for an hour, where I was the only one of us to not buy something. I'm incredibly indecisive when I go to bookstores, unlike other stores. I'll spend a lot of time looking and either want to get a whole bunch of books or not really want to get any. Also, I'm such a bargain shopper that if I think there's a reasonable chance I can get it somewhere else for cheaper I'll wait.

After that we went to a sushi place. It's not the first time I've had sushi with raw fish, but I think it's the first time I've had sashimi (raw fish by itself). It's kind of cold and bland and squishy. It doesn't weird me out, but I don't like it very much. I don't like seafood very much anyway. I prefer to eat sushi in a bowl or bigger rolls with seaweed, rather than in little rolls like a delicacy (I'm partially biased because that's how my mom makes it, without the raw fish). I'm not sure that I like eating much of anything as a delicacy.

I need to figure out a way to carry chopsticks with me wherever I go, because every time I want them I never have them. I get annoyed by the cheap variety many restaurants give to you. If only it was socially acceptable for men to have purses...it seems like they would be really useful.

Stardate: -317705.24

2006-09-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

This is the ninth day I've worked out of the last ten and it's been so low-key that I sometimes don't even feel like I have a job. Maybe it'll pick up more when I have more responsibility. I do get a three-day weekend, partly because I requested tomorrow off so I can go to my cousin Brian's wedding with my family.

Fall is approaching fast and that means that soon there will be leaves on the ground. It's been a long time since I was living somewhere that had a real fall.

I haven't driven my car in about two weeks. I walk to work right now and bicycle everywhere else, catching a ride with my sister Vjera back from Jason's house in the mornings after my second job.

I haven't heard yet if I'm going to get to referee any soccer games this weekend. There's supposed to be a preseason tournament or something, I guess I should call again and find out.

Stardate: -317703.6

2006-09-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Last night Thad called while I was the only one at home, wanting to know "How big does a fire have to be before you should call 911?" He was riding home on the bike path in East Alton Baker Park when he saw a small patch of grass burning. While he was talking to me on his cell phone he could see it growing. I spent a minute thumbing through the phone book looking for a non-emergency fire department number, then when I couldn't find it immediately I told him to just do the safe and easy thing and call 911.

About three minutes later I heard the siren from the fire engine. Just for fun, I hopped on my bike and rode to where he was only a few minutes away to keep him company while he watched the firemen put out the fire.

How's that for an anticlimactic, yet interesting, adventure...

Stardate: -317699.72

2006-09-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

I was chasing the sunset last night (on my bicycle) and I was thinking that sometimes pursuing God is like that. He's faster and so much more amazing than we can imagine, but sometimes we catch him in a moment that takes our breath away. He's not predictable, and every time we see a glimpse of him it looks different. Then the moment is gone and we go on with our lives, but hopefully with a sense of awe and wonder, realizing that the same God who created the sunset just for us to enjoy also has a hand in every part and circumstance of our life.

So until I see him coming on the clouds, I'll keep chasing the sunset.

Stardate: -317697.85

2006-09-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

All day today and yesterday I've been going through OIS (Oregon Intervention System) training at the Alvord-Taylor office. Actually really interesting stuff. Our teacher was very energetic, passionate, and knowledgeable, with a lot of stories and examples from his own experience in the field. Some of his stories were crazy -- I-can't-believe-that-actually-happened crazy. He was all over the place and would frequently go on very interesting tangents, so we learned about everything from communication styles to how alcohol affects babies in the womb to philosophies about institutional care and medicine. The main thing that we were learning, though, was intervention strategies, primarily preventively, but also reactionary and crisis situations, for negative behaviors and such. Today we were trained in evasive physical maneuvers to avoid physical aggression, and physical restraints to prevent injury from punches, kicks, holds, and the like. Physical restraints are a last resort, and not very common, but they do happen in the agency sometimes.

Wild. Welcome to Human Services -- direct care for people with developmental disabilities.

Stardate: -317688.84

2006-09-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day at the house I'm working at before I go train at another house, starting on Wednesday. I have two days of training at the office on Monday and Tuesday.

I expect to ride to Jason's house tonight and not actually come back until Monday morning. I'll probably be out there all day tomorrow, between church, hanging out with people, and college group in the evening. I'm glad I don't have to work.

That means that I probably won't post to my blogs until Monday evening at least.

It rained some last night. Hopefully it won't rain too much tonight when I'm riding, since I don't have fenders or rainguards or whatever they're called yet.

Stardate: -317686.21

2006-09-08T11:08:00.000-07:00

I just got my new schedule for the next three weeks. I'm working more day/afternoons and fewer evenings, which I'm thankful for. I'm also delighted to have the next four Sundays off. I'm training at another house, this one about six blocks from my home in Springfield. It'll take me about 90 seconds to ride my bike there, or about 8 minutes to walk, whichever I choose to do.

Jeff and co. from NYC are, I've been told, definitely moving to Oregon in October. What a development. Maybe we should hand out seat belts to everyone we know here, just to let them know that things could get crazy. Not like I expected everything to be 'normal' anyway. What is normal?

I have a sneaking suspicion that my bike tires aren't holding air very well. I should get some new tires and test the tubes. I should also see if I can tune it up a bit so the gears work better. I think I can work on that during the next week.

My younger brother Simon is at the beginning of the year camp for the new public school in Springfield that he's attending called A3. Academy of Arts and Academics, I believe. I think he gets back sometime tonight.

Stardate: -317681.72

2006-09-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today while I was working I went on an outing with another co-worker and one of our developmentally disabled residents. We went to a park in Eugene and sat around and watched the ducks and geese and walked around the pond. Every time someone would walk by us the resident with us would wave at them and say hi. It was fascinating to see how people would react.

It prompted me to reflect on different situations when I have been in public with people I know who were perceived as different (physically, developmentally, or socially disadvantaged) from "everyone else." It often bothers "everyone else" more than it bothers "them." I love being with developmentally disabled people especially because they don't seem to take anything for granted when they're out in the world. Ducks, cows, airplanes, flowers, people, they're all amazing and worth gawking at, talking to, giggling or maybe even shouting about, and they don't care if it's appropriate or socially acceptable...they just do it.

I think we can all learn to see the world differently when we're around people who have that "gift."

Stardate: -317681.71

2006-09-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent the day with two friends from Australia who I met at a summer camp two years ago who are visiting Oregon right now. It was fun and kind of strange all at the same time, having been a long time since I've seen them. I get an interesting sense of the passage of time and how much people can change (and how much I can change) when I see someone who I haven't seen for quite a while.

I spent the day driving them around as kind of a tour guide, taking them to the coast -- Pacific City -- and to Multnomah Falls. It was a lot of driving, probably more than would have been ideal, but it was fun nonetheless. I appreciate the beautiful places in Oregon -- which is really much of the state -- much more now that I've been to several different places in the country. I love the large portions of (mostly) undisturbed natural beauty.

Stardate: -317675.04

2006-09-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

Jeff and co. from NYC are supposedly trying to figure out timing and transportation to move to Oregon, and they'd like to do it soon. They want to stay at Jason & Kristen's house, in the basement, where my two sisters are living right now. My sisters have agreed to move out (and probably back here, to my family's house) if it does go through.

It could be as early as October. Crazy.

At first I didn't think that there was any way that Jeff and his family and two friends (they all live together) would move here because it's such an extreme jump in so many ways. Then when they started thinking about it while they were visiting, I didn't think there was any way it would be so soon. We'll see if it actually pans out, it would definitely add a large dose of something (craziness? ministry opportunities? ethnic unity? Holy Spirit? all of the above??) to our world here in Oregon.

Stardate: -317675.02

2006-09-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

I had a really great conversation last night with one of my co-workers who had grew up in church but had been turned off by some things that Christians said to him. I hope I am the kind of person who, when people are around me, have to reckon with the reality of who Jesus is and can't just write Christians off as "close-minded" or "judgmental." I am on a mission to remove everything from my life and thought that might give others that perception. I want to be a true Christian.

It's so important to be ready "to give an account for the hope that is in you" (I Peter 3:15). I am going to do my best to not avoid talking about Jesus, but also not forcing anything. I believe that if we do live like true Christians, we will be approached by people as much or more than we approach them. So we need to be ready, and not shy away from opportunities, even when it might be difficult or risk persecution. If I have to risk persecution and being made fun of for the sake of helping people come under the kingdom of God, then so be it.

Stardate: -317667.04

2006-09-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

I was driving to Jason's house last night and there was a section of Delta Highway (a local highway here in Eugene) closed off due to a bad accident. I mentioned it to them when I got there and my sister Vjera e-mailed me this morning saying that the company she works for in Springfield, one of the owners has an infant grandchild that died in the same accident (see Link below for newspaper article).

Pray for the family, what a terrible thing to go through...